- I wouldn’t have to cook. I do enjoy cooking most of the time, but sometimes I just wish that I could just take a leaf out of Lola’s book – yell when I am hungry, and have my long-suffering servants bring me food.
- Money would be no problem. Cats don’t need money. They don’t use it, they have no interest in it… Well, usually at least. A cat relies on it’s servants for all it’s needs, from food to medicine, to the occasional cuddle when the cat wants it. No money necessary. And on that note…
- Cats don’t need jobs. They can do whatever they want. They don’t have to go out and find a job, work all day to bring home money (they don’t need it) and come home too exhausted to do anything they want to do. They don’t have to deal with the stress of being employed, or the stress of being unemployed. Cats don’t care about any of that.
- Social lives would be so much easier. Seriously, if a cat wants human attention they can just wander over, look cute, and get petted. Once they’ve got their desired three strokes and have had enough they can whip out the claws and quickly amputate the human’s fingers to let them know that their attention is no longer required. If I were to start scratching people to let them know I’d had enough of their attention I would probably quickly find myself committed.
- Ownership is trivial. When you are a cat, if you see something you want you can claim it pretty easily. If you’re a human and you try to take someone else’s shiny thing then that is called stealing and you will most likely be arrested. If you are a cat you can just look cute and, depending on the size of the object, either carry it off in your mouth to hide it under the bed, in a cupboard, or in a shoe, or if it is a bigger item just lie on it. Everyone knows that once a cat lays on a thing it is theirs, at least until they decide to give it up. And if a human tries to dislodge a cat from “their” property all the cat has to do is give them one of those famous warning finger-amputating swipes and everyone will be happy.
- Sleeping all day. Lately I’ve been wanting to do this anyway. But if I was a cat, with no responsibilities… I could sleep any time I want, any place I want… I mean, have you seen our cats? They’ll sleep anywhere! And any time. Except for when they wake up to yell, eat, or make nasty smells…
I think that covers the basics. Did I miss anything important? Let me know in the comments if you can think of any other reasons that it would be awesome to be a cat!