I really enjoy writing. I always have and I expect, hope, that I always will. I’ve talked about my love of writing before on the blog. Sometimes I have difficulty getting motivated though. Sometimes I don’t know what to write about, where to start. And sometimes I just get sidetracked. I tell myself I’ll just read one more forum post and then do it, and three hours later I wonder where the time went.
Actually that seems to be the case about other things too, not just writing. I have a whole to-do list program where I track the things I want to get done. And I’ll inevitably do one small thing in the morning, decide I’ve earned a break and then before I know it the day is over and I don’t have time to get anything done. I tell myself it’s okay, I’ll do better tomorrow. I tell myself that I’m trying to do too much at once anyway so I shouldn’t feel bad about it.
But really, I’m lying to myself. I should feel bad about it. I won’t do better tomorrow. If I want to do better I need to start now. I need to do better today. No putting it off. No excuses, just doing it.
It sounds good when I say that, but saying does not equal doing.
There are so many things I want to do. So many things I want to achieve, but if I can’t apply myself and do them I won’t ever get anywhere.
I want to finish writing my book, my NaNoWriMo novel from last year. I want to finish it, edit it, and start looking for publishers. I want it done and out there. I want to be a published author, like I’ve dreamed of. But wanting doesn’t equal doing either.
I keep telling myself that I’ll finish the projects I’ve been working on. I’ll finish knitting the scarf so that I can start on something new and interesting. I’ll finish making the newspaper basket. I’ll finish the Fanfic I started writing fifty million years ago (give or take). I’ll tidy the bedroom. I’ll practice the cake decoration techniques from the magazines I have. I’ll speak Finnish more. I’ll read more.
Part of the problem is that I want to do all of them at once. I can’t fit so many things into one day, I know that. But I have to try. I should start today. But I’ll do better tomorrow…